Abbey Whitehall

What the heck is a "Pass-By Nibble?", you're wondering. It's something that both sharks and bullies do before they go in for the kill. Both test their potential victims out first by gently taking a nibble. Sharks do it with their teeth. Bullies do it with off color remarks and other, very harmless sounding comments. Comments meant to see how far you'll let them go before you'll stop them.

What would you have done in the following circumstance? Here's a scenario a client of mine told me about. She wasn't happy with the way she'd handled it and wanted my input.

Beverly's Dilemna - Everyone in the office, from the boss down was taking "shots" at Beverly. The supervisor, Joan, regularly denied her requests for lunch breaks when she wanted them.

Don't want to speak up to the bully yet? Too scared? Too unsure? Don't worry. There's actually something you can say that's not quite a comeback, but it's not just "taking it" either. It's called, "Parroting." You don't have to feel brave or sure of yourself to do this.

When someone bullies you, either at work, home or school, you just state what happened, or what she said, in a question, without making a judgment about it.